


Girls?

by MiddleKeyFangirl



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Break Up, Comedy, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, One Shot, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleKeyFangirl/pseuds/MiddleKeyFangirl
Summary: In honor of the upcoming Hawkeye show, I have returned to AO3 to write again, as nervous as that makes me.Kate Bishop is straight. She likes guys. Guys like her. Or at least, that's what she keeps telling herself.
Relationships: Kate Bishop & Billy Kaplan, Kate Bishop/America Chavez, Kate Bishop/Tommy Shepherd, Teddy Altman & Kate Bishop
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Girls?

Kate wasn't hungover. She was never dunk, actually. But she wished she had been, turning over in bed to a silver-haired idiot. She didn't react. Not visibly, at least. She was praying to get out of bed and dressed before he noticed she was awake.

Like a worm, she wiggled gently towards the side of the bed, reaching down to the carpet floor. Her hand touched a sock; a dirty, ripped up sock that she knew he had worn on a mission, wearing right through it. She wrinkled her nose, gently lowering herself to the floor regardless.

"Fuck." She muttered, finally out of the bed. She glanced around, looking for her clothes. That was one thing she kind of liked about sleeping with Tommy; he always folded everything neatly, as it took him virtually no time. Why this meant his room was still a mess was beyond her, but she didn't have time to think about it. She grabbed her clothes off the nightstand, pulling them to her bare chest. She was about to put her pants back on when he called her.

"Kate?" He called. She froze, her grip tightening on the waistband of her jeans.

"I uh- Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

She huffed and stood up, looking directly into his eyes. He was lying on his back, arms folded under his head, and bare abs shining in the late morning sun. 

"I have to go," she said flatly.

"Oh," he frowned, sitting up. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No it was great- everything- no. I just have to go." She tripped over her own words as she tripped trying to get her jeans back on. With a final, vindictive yank, she zipped her jeans back up and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You're making me feel like I did something wrong. Are you sure? If there's something wrong I have to fix it." He was giving puppy eyes. And he was ridiculously good at it.

"No, Tommy, you're fine, really. I had a great night, it was great sex, I just- I don't know if this should happen again." 

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know!" She snapped. He bit his fingernail, looking incredibly guilty. "I'm sorry. I'll call you later." 

He nodded, reclining back again. She smiled weakly and shuffled to the door, swinging her bag over her shoulder.

Once she was outside, she took a breath, feeling like she'd been holding it. She rubbed at her face, exhausted. She needed breakfast. And backup.

America met her at a dingy little diner five minutes from Tommy's. Kate waited outside the door, and smiled as her friend descended, landing with her hands in her pockets. She was so cool.

"Hey," she smirked. She eyed Kate up and down. "Rough night?"

"N- what? No. More like... wild night?" Kate stammered.

"You hungover?"

"No," she admitted. The two entered the diner and sat down.

"So?"

"I was with Tommy."

"Oh," her smile wavered, coming back as an even bigger smirk. "Yeah?"

"I don't know what the deal is. I don't know if he likes me or he just wants to f-" she paused as the waitress came over, pouring them each a cup of coffee. Kate thanked her and emptied three sugars and two creams into her coffee.

"If you're gonna deface it like that, don't drink the coffee," America said, taking a sip of her plain, unsweetened, bitter, tremor-inducing coffee. "So what, you're not into him."

"I'm not emotionally available," she muttered, taking in a mouthful of coffee. 

"Why not?"

She shrugged.

"Are you into someone?" America's smirk almost seemed permanent at this point.

Kate shrugged again. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" America prodded.

"I mean I don't know. How did you know-" she stopped herself.

"Know what?"

"How did you know you liked Ramone?"

"Well, you know we broke up. I'm not really sure that answer will help you any. But I don't know, Katie. You're the one that would."

"Deep," Kate rolled her eyes. "And not helpful."

America laughed sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a moment, Kate looking at the menu as her stomach growled.

"So who is it you think you like?" America asked. Kate's heart skipped a beat, and she sighed, collapsing onto the table dramatically.

"Not Tommy!"

"Why not?"

"I don't know!" She shot back up, eyes wide as she talked exasperatedly. "I should like him! He's hot, but also cute. He's an idiot, but in an attractive way. And he's so, so sweet. He folds our clothes before sex." She sighed and took a sip of coffee, avoiding America's eyes.

"I didn't really want to know that," she laughed. "But that doesn't sound like Tommy."

"Well, it is."

America picked up Kate's coffee, taking a sip. She looked Kate straight in the eye as she did it, making the other girl nervous. She placed the coffee back down and shook her head rapidly, like it was her first time drinking straight vodka, her curls bouncing around.

"Okay. So what? You clearly like him."

"As a friend," she pressed her palms into her eyes, elbows on the table. "I've tried to just be his 'girlfriend', but I could never even ask for the title. He's a great guy. But every time I kiss him, my heart hurts. Like it should be someone else. Like I want it to be someone else."

"Well, you gotta make the decision, Kate." She leaned back and raised her hand, calling over the waitress.

"How did you know you were gay?" She asked flat-out.

"What?" Billy said, not looking away from his game.

"How did you know you were gay?"

He paused he and Teddy's game, turning to her.

"Why are you asking?" He raised an eyebrow.

Kate clenched her fist, pressing her knuckles into the thighs of her jeans, dragging them until it got painful.

"I think I like a girl," she said, stomach flipping. It was the first time she admitted it out loud. It did not feel as good as she wanted it to.

"Yeah, obviously," Teddy chimed in.

"Is it?" Kate's eyes widened.

"Yes." Billy added. "There's so much tension between you and America, you could cut it with a knife."

"What?" She yelled, eyes wide. "I didn't even tell you! So it's really that obvious? Do you think she knows?"

"Honestly? It could go either way," Billy said. "She's either into you, and knows you're having some kind of sexual crisis and is waiting for you to work it out before talking to you about it," he held up one finger. "Or she's clueless and thinks you're straight."

"Or she's convinced that the questionable shit you say to each other is just jokes," Teddy sighed.

Kate sighed and rested her head back on the couch.

Billy pressed resume on his game.

"Just figure it out," Billy said, giving her a soft look.

"America-"

"What?" The girl huffed.

Kate stepped back from the door to her apartment. "It's me? It's Kate."

"Come in," she said flatly. Kate opened the door, not surprised it was unlocked. America must've been open to an intruder, desperately wanting a low-stakes fight. One where existence wasn't being threatened.

"I could be a burglar," Kate joked. She froze, looking at America zipping up her jacket. "Oh- I'm sorry, are you going somewhere?"

America nodded, looking blankly at Kate.

"Ramone wants to meet me somewhere. She wants to talk."

"By talk, does she mean sex?" Kate said, trying to hide the bitterness in her voice.

"Probably. Why?" America looked at her, puzzled. Or faking being puzzled.

"And you're okay with that?"

America shrugged. "It's what you do with Tommy." That hurt. She blinked, looking around America's apartment.

America's eyes flitted to Kate's. "Are you okay?"

Kate nodded.

"I uh- I know it's none of my business, but is that a good idea? Maybe you shouldn't go," Kate looked at the floor.

"You're right," America said flatly. Kate looked back up to her face. "It isn't your business."

Kate blinked. "Oh." She shuffled her feet. "Yeah you're right."

America frowned, feeling stupid for being an asshole.

"Katie- I'm sor-"

"No, no. You're right," Kate nodded, turning to the door before her eyes started glistening with tears. "No need to apologize. Have fun with Ramone. I'm sorry I bothered you."

"Kate-"

"Seriously, it's fine," she turned back and gave a convincing smile. "I'll see you around?"

America's eyebrows furrowed together as she watched Kate leave, hearing a distinct sniffle before she rounded the corner of the hallway, out of sight.

Kate closed the door quietly behind her, sliding down to the base of it as it clicked shut. Her apartment was pitch black. She didn't bother turning the lights on.

She sat with her legs stretched out in front of her, unsure of what to do next. 

It's not like she could have told her. It would seem selfish to have waited until America got back with Ramone to say anything. And she didn't want to hurt America with her uncertainty. 

She took out her phone and opened Ramone's Instagram. She knew looking at pictures of her and America would make her feel infinitely worse, but she looked at them anyways, wishing it was her bathed in sun next to America, her hand locked with America's.

She noticed a comment she had left on a post a few months back. A single word, left without any feeling behind it. A simple "lovelies!" liked by Ramone. Kate felt gross. She was jealous, there was no way around it. So jealous, in fact, that she deleted the comment, and unfollowed Ramone. She felt like such a petty bitch.

She shoved her phone back into her pocket and let her head fall limp against the door, looking tiredly at the ceiling.

"Fuck."

A knock at the door shook Kate awake. She pushed her hair out of her face and turned her head, waiting for a second knock. 

Whoever was there knocked again. Kate stood up and faced the door.

"Who is it?" She rubbed her eyes. "It's late."

"It's America."

Kate paused. "I don't want to talk to you. I'm tired."

"Kate-"

"Don't you have a date?" Kate asked bitterly.

America sighed, tapping her nails on the door.

"It didn't work out. I can't go back into that. I don't-" she huffed, frustrated. "Never mind. I don't know why I'm here. Have a good night."

"Good night."

Kate stood by the door, listening for America's receding footsteps, a sound that never came. America must have been doing the same.

"I'm sorry Kate."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I was a complete asshole to you."

"Well I haven't exactly been a great friend either," Kate said. America tried the doorknob.

"Kate, please let me in."

Kate opened the door. America stood there, hands in her pockets and hair wet from the rain. It was the tiny details that made Kate's heart ache. A water droplet on her cheek, the water darkening the shoulders of her jacket, the scarred shin from a small fall she took while walking down the street. It was so small, but it made Kate feel like America was a real person. She felt so large. So grand, so important. Kate felt like an insignificant fan, invisible in America's eyes.

"Kate?"

"I'm sorry I've been so distant."

"What?" America blinked. She entered the apartment and closed the door behind her, leaning against it casually. Kate wanted nothing more than to push her up against it and kiss her. She wanted America to know how she was feeling. To tell her how she should feel. "You haven't been distant. I pushed you away for a stupid date."

"I- I haven't told you so much," Kate sighed. She bit her lip, holding back tears. She felt so angry, so lost, so hollow. "America- I need you right now."

America nodded. "Okay."

Kate walked into her, falling limp onto her and grabbing at her denim jacket as she pulled America down to the floor with her. 

America's back rested against the door, her legs on either side of Kate, with Kate wrapped around her chest, head right under her chin.

"I'm so tired." Kate muttered. "I could fall asleep like this. You're so warm." She tucked her head into America's chest, ear pressed into her sternum, listening for her heartbeat.

"Whatever you need, Kate," America said.

Kate hesitated.

"I just need time." She said. "And I need you to tell me what to do."

"What?"

Kate sighed, gripping at America's jacket again.

"How did you know you liked girls?" She started.

America was quiet for a moment. "What do you mean?" Her voice cracked.

"I think I like you," Kate muttered.

America laughed.

Kate pushed back and looked at her.

"What?"

"You're a terrible closeted lesbian," America laughed.

Kate's eyes widened.

"You knew this whole time? And you didn't say anything?" Kate blinked dumbly at her.

"I was waiting. I knew you needed time. And I know that you still don't feel sure about it." America looked at her.

Kate sighed.

"I don't know. I just don't want to waste your time."

America reached for her hand. "You're not."

She pulled her hand to her lips and kissed her bruised knuckles, indicating a recent fight.

"I'll wait for you."

"But what if you wait only to find out I don't like girls?"

"You're my best friend." She smiled. "Kiss me?"

Kate laughed and looked at America. She crawled closer and held America's cheek in her hand, hesitating for a moment before leaning in to kiss her.

She tasted like bubblegum; not surprising to Kate.

She pulled away, looking at America hesitantly.

"What?" America smirked. Kate's face remained blank as she crawled in closer, innocently straddling America's hips.

Kate leaned back in and kissed her again, deeper. America kissed back, reaching up and running her thumbs across Kate's cheekbones.

Kate finally pulled back, pressing her forehead to America's.

"So?" America asked.

"I like this."

America laughed. Kate laughed gently as well. She kissed America once more and leaned back, smirking at America.

"Be my girlfriend?"


End file.
